You know when you have like a hundred things you could or
probably should do? Oh yeah that is my life like every single day. However, I
have the hardest time finding the actual motivation to do any of these hundreds
of things on my list. There are just so many other thing that seem so much more
entertaining that I can be doing. I think I have really almost perfected doing
these other things in my life. I mean prime evidence of that would be the fact
that I just finished the eleventh season of Grey’s Anatomy when I am pretty
sure I didn’t even start watching it until maybe two months ago at the longest.
I remember being a missionary and being so productive. Okay
some of my companions may disagree with that statement, but really we were
always doing something. And I can promise we were not ever just sitting around
watching soap operas. Okay maybe like once or twice when we caught a peak at
the members TV while it was on. We had Plan A and Plan B for basically every
minute of every day. Now I am lucky to know what I am going to be doing in two
hours.
At the end of my mission I started to quickly realize that I
was not going to have the same purpose that drove my productivity. I was
worried about what would happen when I got home from my mission and just didn’t
have a purpose that I was so passionate about. I wish I could say that I came
home and just kept my missionary spirit and purpose with me always, but I can’t.
I fell. I let the things of the world come in and take away from some of the
wonderful things that I had just barely learned. To me it is amazing how fast
bad habits can creep into your life. Satan is good, he is a pro at stealing the
hearts of man. I mean he has been doing it since the beginning of time. So why?
Why do we think we can out smart him on our own. It has never happened and
quite frankly it is never going to happen. We need help, we need help every
single day.
Luckily for you and for me we aren’t expected to be perfect.
Our Heavenly Father knows that we are human and that we are going to make
mistakes, he knows we are going to fall. He is always always there to pick us
back up and cheer us on. He even knows that we will probably screw up again and
do something dumb. Yet he still loves us and is there for us without fail. I
find so much comfort in this. I don’t know how you couldn’t find comfort in
this.
With Conference coming up this weekend I am exciting to get
a reboost in life. Find new purpose and better myself. I can’t live all of the
mission rules or have hours to study the gospel every day but I can be better.
I can find joy in the little victories and delight in the beauty of God that is
all around us. Plus I tend to have a lot of time to myself like every other
week…..that I could fill a little more productively.
